We have a tendency to forget the reason for a holiday when we have a long holiday weekend. Memorial Day is a time for us to remember the sacrifice made for our freedom by those who died serving our country. Don’t forget the sacrifice was also felt by that person’s entire family. They weren’t there for those special family days. They weren’t there as a parent to help lead their child into adulthood. Holidays were never the same.

The sad fact is that most often those who have died, drop from our collective conscience. Men and women gave their lives during World Wars and undeclared wars to serve our country. Have you forgotten those who sacrificed for you? Memorial Day is a time to stop and remember that the benefits of our country came at a terrible price paid by someone other than you.

Let us now praise famous men,
And our fathers in their generations.
The Lord apportioned to them great glory,
his majesty from the beginning.
There were those who ruled in their kingdoms,
and were men renowned for their power,
giving counsel by their understanding,
and proclaiming prophecies;
leaders of the people in their deliberations
and in understanding of learning for the people,
wise in their words of instruction;
those who composed musical tunes,
and set forth verses in writing;
rich men furnished with resources,
living peaceably in their habitations –
all these were honored in their generations,
and were the glory of their times.

There are some of them who have left a name,
So that men declare their praise.
And there are some who have no memorial,
who have perished as though they had not lived;
they have become as though they had not been born,
and so have their children after them.

But these were men of mercy,
Whose righteous deeds have not been forgotten.
Their posterity will continue for ever,
and their glory will not be blotted out.
Their bodies were buried in peace,
and their name lives to all generations.

Ecclesiasticus 44:1-10,13-14

Have a safe holiday and do drive carefully.

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One of the lawyers in our office saw this and passed it on. I thought that you might like the sentiment as well. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior who was born and died for each of us.

P.S. Be sure to be safe as you enjoy time with family and friends!

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Okay, I hope that I got your attention. Pretty cool video about the white deer, isn’t it? Sometimes in lawsuits, people think something is strange and not true. One of the biggest misconceptions the public has is that you cannot be seriously hurt from a low impact rear end wreck (what people call whiplash). “Strange” but true that between 15 and 40 percent of patients may develop chronic neck pain (lasting more than six months) after having whiplash according to an article in the October 2007 Journal of the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons. It has been estimated by some researchers that between five and seven percent of those injured become partially or totally disabled from this type of injury.

Most defense attorneys will want to show how little damage was done to your vehicle. Remember that your vehicle was designed to withstand various levels of impact, your neck whipping forward, however, was not protected from the impact.

I saw a client today who had been a passenger in a car that was hit from behind because the driver was text messaging on her cell phone while driving. The pain, headache, and other harms and losses were strange but really true, because before the accident the was not having any pain. She now has had a headache since the accident that has not gone away.

We have the Thanksgiving Holiday coming up and there will be a lot of people on the highways. Be sure you have your seatbelt on and you will be careful, won’t you? Strange but true injuries can quickly happen in the blink of an eye.

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The Birmingham News Saturday on page 8B had a sad story, a person on a bicycle was hit and killed by a driver reaching for her cell phone. I recently wrote about this problem in my post accidents and cell phones. Kimberly Kelsey Drawbaugh in Scottsboro did not see Carlos Serrano Sr., an exercise enthusiast, who was killed by the impact. The police report said that she didn’t see him as she was reaching for her cell phone. Serrano was thrown 200 feet from the point of impact.

The newspaper article goes on in some detail about Mr. Serrano and his competitions in marathons and triathlons. (It’s ironic that the company he was the president of made the nylon fibers for air bags.)  He had a son and daughter who were both successful athletes. What a sad day for that family. Their lives have been changed forever. They have begun the journey of grief. The holidays will never be the same. Mr. Serrano won’t be at the weddings of his children nor will he be there to teach important life lessons to his future grandchildren.

Drivers talking on a phone are four times as likely to crash as other drivers, and are as likely to cause an accident as someone with a .08 blood alcohol content (legally drunk). National Highway Traffic Safety Administration researchers estimated that cell phone use by drivers caused around 955 fatalities and 240,000 accidents in 2002.

Each of us as human beings have a tendency to believe that “it” (something bad) won’t happen to me.  For the driver of the car reaching for their cell phone, they don’t think that they are taking someone’s life into their hands.  Think again and reconsider what you do when driving.

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It has always recognized the dead from war. It was first known as Decoration Day from the practice of decorating graves with flowers, wreaths and flags. The name Memorial Day goes back to 1882, but the older name, Decoration Day, did not disappear until after World War II. In 1967 Federal law declared “Memorial Day” the official name.

Much of the time we focus on what is wrong in our country. The financial state of our economy and how best to recover is one of the many recent debates. Today, we focus on those who when called served. They and their families paid the ultimate price for you and for me.

Take a moment and pause for a minute at 3:00 P.M. in an act of national unity to remember those who died so that you have the blessing we all enjoy.

Also, be sure to drive safely this long holiday weekend.

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Remember also that if you are getting tired to stop and rest.  Many accidents occur due to people falling asleep at the wheel or due to driver fatigue.

Finally, I give thanks that our Savior was born this day.  May your Christmas be a happy and safe one.  Merry Christmas.

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However, like Ralphie’s parents you want to get your children the gift they really want.

One place to check before or after buying is U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission. Toy Army Figures were recalled as dangerous! They are 7 ½ inch tall plastic toy Army figures. The figures are dressed in Army fatigues and have guns. On December 3, 2008 OKK Army toys which recalled them because they were found to have too much lead in the paint. Dollar type retailers and OKK Trading’s Web site www.okktoys.com from June 2008 through September 2008 sold them for about $1.00. Other types of toys to watch out for are those with magnets. Children can swallow them and choke. They also cause intestinal problems. Two toddlers died from Playskool Toy Tool Benches. The deaths of the children occurred when the children suffocated when oversized, plastic toy nails sold with the tool bench toys became forcefully lodged in their throats. Playskook recalled the toys. That recall was in 2006. However, not every toy recalled makes it back to the manufacturer.

If you have small children, you can assume that they will put every part of the toy in their mouth. I know from experience. I broke a tooth on my toy gun when I was a child. Try to anticipate what can go wrong when you pick a toy for your children. I hope yours is indeed a Merry Christmas not marred by injury to your child.

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Today, I want to address practical aspects about grief.  In a later posts, I will cover legal aspects of wrongful death.  (I cover both legal and practical aspects of wrongful death in my book “The Seven Deadly Sins That Can Wreck Your Alabama Injury Claim” which your can order free by clicking here to go to the order page.)

Unfortunately, you cannot “think” your way out of grief. If you had not loved the person who died, you would not now have the pain and other symptoms that you are experiencing. You may have talked to your loved one shortly before they were killed. You did not have time to say your good-byes.  So, it is different than a loss where there was a long illness.  In fact the last thing that entered your mind was that they were going to die the day they died or were killed in the accident or wreck. You may have noticed that at first you did pretty well with the funeral and trying to cope with the shock of the loss. Since then, you likely are finding it harder to cope. You may be experiencing sleeplessness.  Many people wake up around 2:00 A.M. and are up all night until just about time to get up in the morning. You may think you are losing your mind. You cannot concentrate. Everything takes eight times as long as it used to take. You cannot remember things. You seem to lose keys, papers, you name it,  … everything. You might experience panic. You are not losing your mind, you are experiencing grief. If you are a man, you may find yourself suddenly crying. Yes, it’s embarrassing. It’s also true that it happens to a lot of men.  (Your friends and family by the way will say the stupidest things  trying to make you feel better. Try to remember that they are well meaning.)

Grief does not take a holiday. Grief is not something you can deal with simply by using your mental will or pretending it does not exist. Remember that oil filter commercial, “You can pay me now or pay me later, but you will pay?” That’s true about grief.

Give serious consideration to going to grief support. Most people make the mistake of trying to tough it out on their own. The problem is that if you do that, you will never come to terms with your grief.  There are many fine programs concerning grief at churches and in the community. Community Grief Support Service, ph. (205) 870-8667, in Birmingham offers both free counseling by professional counselors and grief support groups. You will find them very helpful. They can help you identify the road signs along the way in trying to rebuild your life and help you anticipate issues that life did not prepare you for prior to losing your loved one.

Please remember that you are not alone. What you are experiencing is “normal” in these terrible circumstances.  You may be thinking you are doing pretty well uner the circumstances.  Two analogies may help you understand.  A car engine works better when all of the cylinders are firing.  Your mechanic has been down the road before and knows the shortcuts for getting your car running so that it’s not  running so rough.  A gas water heater may have the pilot light burning, but water heats much better when the burner comes on to heat the water tank.  One step you should consider is grief support.  They have been down the road that you did not know even existed.  You should consider utilizing their expertise so that you will recognize the road signs and not be headed to Mobile when you need to be heading toward Huntsville.

Attending a grief support group is not attending a “pity party.”  Practical experience and advice is shared that help you.  Everyone grieves alone.  Your grief is not the same as mine.  However, you do not have be alone as you grieve.   Take the hard step and seriously consider going to grief support.

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